Tuesday, 4 February 2014

Ruined Plans

"We're only young and naive still" -Young Blood by The Naked Famous

Hey beautiful people

It's been a while since I've written.

Today I wanna tell you guys about what will happen to your new year's resolution if one incident left a dent in your perfect progress.

My new year's resolution was to not skip school so much. Let's just say, last year, I hadn't had much of a great school year. I was a loner and my social life pretty much sucked. I used to skip school a day every other week. And it brought attention to teachers and don't worry, all that's passed. 

I thought, with a new year, it would be a new me. Of course that wasn't my only resolution. I had other things planned for the year too. But that besides the point. The point is today, I did something that ruined the progress of my resolution. I skipped school.

Now, don't fret. I had a reason. I didn't get to sleep last night due to the stupid mosquitoes that left bumps on legs, hands and face. It's not a nice situation, especially when you're trying to get some sleep at night and you have to scratch your legs. Then it just had to be time for school. Of course I was dead tired. What do you expect? I tried to get a short nap on my parent's bed to get just a little sleep. Didn't work. So I told my parents and all my mum had to say is "back to her old self, never going to change." In Malay of course. 

In the end, I wasn't going to care what she said and climbed back on my bed to get my well-needed rest. 

6.50PM. This is when things switched up, a lot. We were supposed to have this short prayer to sort of thank Allah for my 3rd sister's passing of her driving test and my 1st sister's new job which starts tomorrow, and to sort of pray that my BIL's health gets better and that my 2nd sister gets a soulmate whatever thing...and then my dad adds that we pray for me to change my attitude about school and that I would not skip. This was when I snapped. 

Let me tell you something. When you wanna joke, you DON't joke about someone's sensitive issue.
1. It is just one day, and I had a valid fucking reason.
2. I am trying to change, it just so happens that the day that the fucking mosquitoes had to come and give me a scratching fit was a school night.
3. While everyone's reason was nice as to why we have to pray to Allah, mine had to seem like I was disappointing the family. 

How do you think that made me feel now?

Sure it may seem like I'm over reacting but try to put yourself in my shoes. Let's say someone were to use your insecurities as a joke, tell me, would you like it? Now I'm not saying that I'm mad at my dad. No, I'm not mad at anyone. Definitely not. I don't get mad easily. It's just the fact that I felt like a fucking failure is what's getting to me. And then stupid me had to have a tweeting fit on twitter about the whole issue and the whole world can see about my issue and how I'm not thankful and shit.

The only questions in my head is am I really a failure? A disappointment? Does my past really determine whether or not I can change who I am? If people want me to change, then why do they keep reminding me of my past mistakes? Am I just overreacting or am I ungrateful? What do I do now that one day, one incident has already had me in a crying fit? Do I go on? Go on to prove all those people wrong about what I really am? Or just quit? 

I certainly won't quit. Pft. It's only February.
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-live, laugh and love
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Friday, 22 November 2013

United States Of Hazirin

"I'd trade all my tomorrow's for just one yesterday" -Just One Yesterday by Fall Out Boy feat. Foxes

Hey beautiful people

I just updated the blog. I did, like always, update my playlist. It's kinda like what I've been listening to recently in order of my iTunes. But anyways, I just wanted to write. I've decided that this blog was just going to be a place where I want to express my thoughts (besides twitter) instead of being forced to write so I won't apologise if I don't write in a long time or any period of time for that matter.

My room is currently under redecorating. I share a quite big room with my sister and we both have always wanted a tumblr room. Like we are starting slow by hanging lanterns on my bed frame. If you're wondering how that is, my bed is a bunk bed so my bed is above hers and her bed is just a single size bed. Just picture it okay..And then I made us the melted rainbow crayon thing with our names. And now we are in the process of painting our room the colours we wanted. Next year (around March), we're going to get a sofa bed which is like a queen size bed but it can double as a sofa. I think it's kinda cool. Opposite the sofa, like the wall, we're going to put up a wall sticker of the map of the world. And on the wall that the sofa is gonna be at, we are going to put like Instagram photos and line them up nicely. I can show you an example.


Yes, that's Jack Harries' uni room.

And we will get like small pillows or bean bags, I don't know. But I hope we can be done by the festive month next year which should be in..July! I just checked the date, that's like very soon.. 

Okay, I just realised this like while watching FOB. I was cleaning out my room the other time and I realised that I accidentally threw away my holiday homework. Brilliant. I mean it's no problem, I can always ask my friends to photocopy it but yeah. I'm so dumb. It's times like this where I just think:


What's new is that Catching Fire came out yesterday. Just to ease the confusion, where I am, it's already the 22nd of November, okay. I watched it yesterday like my cousin texted me and we just watched it. And like we're both big fans of THG so yeah.. I ain't gonna say anythang.. 


I've just been thinking while watching FOB (again) that I have sort of like multiple personalities. I can give you a list of different me's:
1. Very classy, wears a lot of dresses and nice shoes, listens to pop me
2. Very dark, wears a lot of black, listens to alternative music me
3. Very boy-ish skater girl, wears sneakers me

I have more but those 3 are the main ones. Weird, this guy right? Psht.


Also, if any of you follow up with danisnotonfire, you should know what a cringe attack is. 


Yeahhh, I have that a lot. 

It may not seem so extreme but when you're a person who's done absolutely nothing in life, it's fucking terrifying, okay. But anyways, speaking of life related matters, I have those moments where I wish I could travel back in time, back to when I was still a kid and have nice hair and hadn't put on much weight 



and just re-do my life. But then, I watch Little Mix and they're all like young adults and they're so pretty and they can dress so nicely and then I just want to fast forward my life until I'm 18 or 20 or 16. Why 16? Because Cole from IM5 is 17 and it is a good age for Niall too.Maybe. Just sayin'.


It's almost 4 (in the afternoon, may I add) now and I still have not showered. Yes, I'm a slob like that.

Anyways, I should go. Goodbye peasants. (I'm JK)


I'm just gonna end with two GIFs



Okay, maybe one more.


I'm done- I swear I'm done.


-live, laugh and love
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Friday, 18 October 2013

The Worst-But-Not-The-Worst Day Ever

"I don't wanna stay away, I don't want nobody but you." - Can't Stay Away by IM5 feat. Bella Thorne

Hey there beautiful people.


I don't even know what I did to even deserve this day. Let's start, shall we?

 7.51AM

 I remember this as clear as day. IM5 was having one of their famous UStreams this morning. I checked. I did all the calculations. It was supposed to start at 7.30AM SGT which is 4.30PM PST. But get this, my school has an assembly that starts at 7.30 and it is scheduled to end at 8. Their UStreams are usually 20 minutes or less. I knew that if the school was early for assembly, we could be done and over with it by 7.50. And I know, 20 minutes. 

 image

 I know, it's impossible but I was still positive. And I also had a close friend who loves IM5 with me. Yeah, I told her about them.

 I ran back to class at exactly 7.51. I opened my laptop and typed in my password, it opened up to their UStream page, saw the "live" button lit up and then "off air" appeared. I swear, I was about to cry. I was close. I missed it by a minute. 

That's 60 seconds! They could have stayed for 2 minutes! I don't mind if I only get to see them for a minute. I just wanna see them live. I checked twitter and guess what? They were early. 

10.57AM

Son of a local footballer replied to my tweet. He is more famous than his dad along with his brother because they are good-looking and are admired by a lot of hormonal teenagers who are older than them. Now before you say "oh isn't that supposed to be great?" Not in my situation. I tweeted somewhat along these lines the day before: irfan fandi just stop taking selfies youre no longer cute to me take proper photos then ill double tap them pics..   note that I didn't even tag his twitter.


Well, I thought it'd go unnoticed because "famous" people usually don't notice tweets from "fans" but I guess not. I check my twitter and he says: @mytwittername sorry for taking selfies if you don't like it you may unfollow me

I could've just leave it there and think "oh okay nevermind, he's just being 'humble'" BUT NOOO... I HAD TO TWEET BACK

I replied: @histwittername dont have to apologise. you can do whatever you want. its your life. you dont need people like me to tell you what to do. 


SERIOUSLY, HAZIRIN, YOU COULDN'T JUST LEAVE IT ALONE? And in my defence, I was being nice and actually nice.

I thought it ends there but then he tweets back..TWICE like literally half an hour after I tweeted back. 

6.57PM

@mytwittername i'm not doing what you're telling me to do. i'm telling you to unfollow me if you dont like it.

@mytwittername actually i rather if you unfollow me. Thank you goodbye.

BRILLIANT. Yep, that's me for you. I just unintentionally insulted one of the most liked teenage boys in Singapore. I can't help it! There were too many selfies, okay?! And, and, and, I had to delete my tweets to him and also change my twitter name. So to the next person who takes my former twitter name, good luck to you in the future. But still, if the fangirls manage to find me, just wanna let you guys know that I love you guys. I'll put my new twitter down below.

1.55PM

Lost in the middle of a highway because I stopped at the wrong bus stop. Battery died so I couldn't call anyone. It doesn't sound so bad but get this, by then, I only had my iPod which is useless when it comes to this. There was no one else at the bus stop to ask for a phone. Technically, there was one person but I was too awkward to ask and he got on a bus there anyways. Nobody and I mean NO ONE alights at that particular bus stop. All taxis were either "hired" or "on call" so I couldn't grab a cab. There you go. I had to find my way home with only an iPod to help me. I deserve an award for this.

7.25PM

I was watching HIMYM and my mother, out of nowhere, tells me off. I thought she was okay with me because she was quite happy when she came home from work. She says something like stop watching that show or I will take your computer and I don't even know why you even watch-there's a gay in that show -unquote- and come on guys, you know how I feel about gays and all. I am open-minded-quote- I told you to cook rice and you still haven't-unquote-. So I closed my laptop and when into the kitchen and cooked rice and she was doing the laundry. Yes, Singapore is so hot/warm that you can do laundry at night. And so it was silence, until she continued nagging. By then, I just shut her off. I finished cooking the rice, packed up my stuff and got up to my bunk. My bed is practically my second home. A home inside a home. I know. I have everything I need up here. Yes, I'm writing from my bed. 

So that's my day for you. Hope you enjoyed my misery. Anyways, that's all.  Follow me in the updated links below and read my story (even though I don't update it as frequent as my readers like to). Bye peeps and stay beautiful!



-live, laugh and love 
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