Friday 25 July 2014

I Need A Happy Little Pill

"Cocaine, dollar bills and my happy little pill. Take me away."- Happy Little Pill by Troye Sivan

G'day beautiful individuals!

It's Friday, Friday and you better know what that means. I know Caspar Lee is excited.


He tweets that every Friday.

I'm in a much better mood than I was when I wrote the previous post. Sorry 'bout that. Shall weeee?


Monday.

Racial Harmony Day here in SG to commemorate the 1964 Race Riots, which took place on 21 July 1964 (cr: wikipedia o.o). It was fun, yeah.

I also bumped into the closest senior I have in Crescent. Urgh, I miss her so much. I didn't even know it until I saw her. I haven't seen her since the last performance. She made my day to be honest.


Tuesday.

It was a half day because there was the 'O' Level Mother Tongue listening comprehension. Decided not to go to school because there was nothing much. Didn't wanna waste my sleep.

TEEN WOLF.

Wednesday.

My school has this program called Share-A-Thought which happens every Wednesday. Basically every Sec 2 and 3 class is given a theme to create a skit on. My class is going on next week (30/7) and apparently I am gonna be dancing. Oh, well. Time to not worry about anxiety and stage fright. Can't back out and disappoint my class.

Troye released Happy Little Pill on his tumblr when it was supposed to come out on Friday. It's indie. So guess who's psyched. I have it on replay right now. Can't wait for the rest of the EP.


Thursday.

Had my oral exam. Which I wasn't prepared for by the way. I was prompted the question of who my source of inspiration was. I said my mom. Genuinely, actually, she was the first person that came to mind. Then I had a conversation with my examiner who is also the teacher in charge for the malay performances and other stuff. Turns out when my parents went to see her during parents-teachers meeting thingy, my mom actually cried because she was worried of me. I never knew that she cried. And then my teacher went on to say what my mother told her and stuff. I was struggling not to cry back there. I didn't know my mom felt that way. I didn't tell that her I knew though. She doesn't need to.

Friday/Today.

This is the first time I would actually be dancing on stage. I don't know how to feel about that. People say I'm good though.

I don't know why but lately, I have been unhappy. I don't know why though. It's like my mind just goes..sad, which would then lead to a bad day for me. It's not happening just once but like almost everyday now. I had it today. I was fine for a portion of the day but towards the end of school, my mind is just drained of happiness. It's like it needs batteries filled with happiness. Except this is one spoilt battery cause it works for only a few hours. See? I don't even know what I'm on about.

Also, scraped my knees today. THANK YOU FRICTION. PERFECT FOR RAYA.

I guess meeting my senior again today made my day. Even though she said we (Ati and I) made hers cause we kinda ran across the road to see her. YEP. It made my day to know I made someone's day.

Also, I had to wear make up to prove to my mom that her make-up doesn't fit my skin tone. So that's that. Make-up ew. But for Raya, it's an exception I guess.

OH! And has anyone seen the Fifty Shades of Grey Trailer? It's smoking hot.

That's all. So yeah, I'm still dealing with the unhappiness issue. I can't talk to anyone about it, which sucks. I can't stop it and I don't know how. On the brighter side, Happy Little Pill MV comes out today and this week is definitely better than the last.

Thanks for reading my sob stories. Follow me if you want.

BYEEEEEEEEE.



-live, laugh and love
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Saturday 19 July 2014

Straws Suck. I'm A Straw.

"Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend."- How To Save A Life by The Fray

Whaddup beautiful peeps.

It's Saturday and you know what that means?

It's Hazirin's rap-up-of-the-week.


White Chicks, all time favourite movie. Thinking of watching it after I finish this. 

Noticed something? I deleted my playlist. I realise that I don't really listen to pop music now. More of indie, thanks to my sis. And I could just add my favourite indie songs in the playlist but I don't really have a favourite cause I just 'Shuffle Play' on Spotify. I never thought that I'd get into indie just because. But then I realise that some of the songs I listen to before I got into it were actually indie. I just didn't know. Heh.

Also, these rap-up-of-the-week posts, they're not always gonna be posted on Friday because I may get tired or lazy sometimes so they may be posted the next day. Like this one.

My laptop is being a bitch the past two nights. The audio isn't working so I'm just using my phone to listen to music whilst writing this. 


Saturday & Sunday.

Whatever bleh. Too far back. Don't remember. 

Monday.

What happened? I don't remember. Honestly, I have goldfish memory. All I can remember are the big events. Sorry.

Tuesday.

We did a test. And I failed. It was Math. Among my friends, I had the lowest score. I just suck at Math, basically. Everytime I get it, something much harder comes around. I'm just going in circles with this shit. I never told them what my score was. I was embarrassed.

I was really depressed that day. And just kept thinking about all the things that I suck at. I even wrote a list:
  • Math
  • Mother Tongue
  • English
  • Socialising
  • Hockey (since I quit)
  • Performing
  • Art
  • Life
  • Everything I do
I think that sums everything up, ay?

Wednesday, Thursday & Friday.

Shitty. Of course there are good things. But I've just been moody that I may have annoyed my friends. (Sorry guys.) Thursday was extra shitty. Got a bit of a case about the financial crisis. I feel like since I've known about the thing that my parents had been keeping from me, I've just went downhill. I don't like it. It affects me, it affects the people around me. It's not fair.

Of course, my mother tongue teacher may have noticed something in me but never asked cause I'm always off during class. I don't know what's gotten into me. When did I become so unhappy?

There is this movie called Suicide Room. Watch it. If you become an emotional wreck after it, don't blame me. I just, the guy in it is gorgeous. Credits to Nadiah, another one of my close friends.

I have no mood for anything. What else?

I have been watching Connor's videos to see any sign of unhappiness. He really hid it well. 6 months, can you believe it? I know I can't. But it's the truth.

Marvel. I've been reading the comics on my phone. Very interesting. Of course that added to my obsession over Marvel.

I had a very weird dream about an old crush. I'll just end there. 

Oh yeah, Germany won the World Cup. I'm really happy about that. 

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I got my period last night. Like at 3am. Hahah. Yeah I was up watching O2L videos. So I can't fast now. Yay?

I've been thinking about clothes. Like I really do wanna wear a hijab. Like my best friend Aisyah, she wears a hijab and she looks absolutely pretty. You can check her out on instagram. I'm not sure if it's private or public. It's @aisyahsinwan. And like lately, I'm into preppy stuff. I see the outfits on pinterest and oh my god, they're gorgeous. I feel like they both work together because the preppy style don't really show much skin. And yeaaap.

I've been working out also. Following the 7 minutes workout app on my phone. Love it. Carry weights too, to tone my arms which I dislike. Running also, I wanna start doing more regularly. Just because I'm out of hockey, doesn't mean I don't have to be fit. Insyallah, in the long run, I get to have the body I dream of.

Also, I've decided to delete my wattpad story. I mean, look at me, I'm a mess. I am in no state to write a story when I'm still figuring out mine. Of course, I'll resume it when I've finished it. 

 Oh, and lately I've been getting anxiety. Like multiple days in a row. I don't like that this state is happening again to me. I want it to stop.

All-in-all, I had a shitty week but there are the little things that make me come back down to earth. Like that Pink Sands scented Yankee candle burning. Mm-mm. Very therapeutic. 

I may go for a little skate in the middle of the night.

Thanks for reading. Follow me on my social media links below. 

Byeeeeeeeeeee.

Links:




Ask.fm: ask.fm/lelegohouse

-live, laugh and love

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Friday 11 July 2014

At The End Of The Day, It'll All Be Okay

"It's all about you. It's all about you, baby."- It's All About You by McFly

Hey beautiful members of society.

It's Friday and you know what that means?!


It's Hazirin's rap-up of the week. I'm tryna make this a thing so just go along with it, okay?

Saturday.

Was boring. But it's the weekends so yay.

Sunday.

Was boring. But it's the weekends so yay.

Monday.

Youth Day so school holiday for us secondary school youths.


Celebrated my sister's birthday which is on Tuesday.

Tuesday.

My sister's birthday.


First thing in the morning. Saw the video, saw all the tweets. Connor left O2L. I was utterly devastated. You can ask my friends. At first, I was just not believing it and that it was prank week. But now, I like to think he just stop making videos on the channel and still is in O2L. I could go on and on about this but, not gonna just because.

There was a Youth Day celebration. The Science, Math, English, PE & Creative Arts Departments had a performance each for the students. Hilarious, tummy hurts.

Also, Teen Wolf. Singapore's timing is different so the episodes release on Tuesdays. Lacrosse is back. Also, Dylan Sprayberry and Mason Dye. Umpf the new characters.


Wednesday.

Nothing much. 

Thursday.

Math tests suck. They can just eff themselves. Also literally 2 hours after we took the tests, my teacher released an email about who will be going for the retest. Basically he took two hours to mark our tests. He is crazy but props to him for not procrastinating. Pfft insane, man.

Library club that day was awesome. I'm starting to like it a lot. The seniors are so nice and I just can't. 


Also, Failah (another close friend a.k.a. fai) and I had our initiations. We had to hold up a paper which states our name and class and then they'll take a picture of you. Pretty much like a mugshot.


They're creating a library website so that's pretty cool. We also have a new project in the process which includes the Young Sherlock Holmes series and we are creating a crime scene in the library and they're using our storyline (fai, ati and i) so I'm psyched.

Friday. (Today)

Creative Arts lesson today was fun and hilarious. Unlike last week (ew). 

My Mother Tongue teacher complimented my group project's work and used it as an example. I'm entirely proud of that.


Also, I realise that since school started, I've been more organised and been handing in my work before the due date. I'm so proud of myself for making this improvement. Cause I'm a big procrastinator and I mostly hand in my work late or do it last minute. But now I'm doing that much less. And I'm so happy.


Y'rite that's it guys. I'm gonna do a little bit of work after this or maybe watch a movie. I don't know, it's Friday. The options are endless! Have a good one guys. Check out my social media links below and goooodbyeeeee.

Side note: I'm trying to focus more on the positive stuff here with these weekly updates. Unless the negative shit is a big thing then yeah.




-live, laugh and love
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Sunday 6 July 2014

School's Crazy

"I want to be a kid again."- Make A Shadow by Meg Myers

What's up beautiful people!

Holiday's over for us Singaporeans students, sadly. It's time to face the torture of school yet again. HELLLLLLL.

Alright moving on to what I really wanna talk about; school. It's already been a week since it started. Like whoa, when did that happen? Time is going by very fast I can't even catch my breath. But yeah in the past 5 days, things were really cray cray. Lemme break it down for ya guys.

Monday.


First day back in school was okay until it got to hockey practice. 


You see I was avoiding training the whole of the holiday. I only came twice. Of course I was gonna get in trouble for this so I was really dreading for this particular practice. In my gut I knew something big would happen, I just didn't know yet. 3/4 training, everything fine. The last quarter, someone could have shot me and I'd still be feeling the same. My coach talked to me. And throughout the whole training, I've been avoiding him but then towards the end he took the opportunity. Note that it is Ramadan so I was fasting. My throat, mouth dry. My body sweaty and my mind somewhere far away. I'm not gonna tell you what my coach said to me because it was pretty brutal. Everyone whom I told this story to said that he was an ass for saying whatever he said to me and that he can go fuck himself. 

This talk just made me wanna quit hockey more. I prayed to Allah to give me a sign that quitting was the best for me and this was definitely a sign. I wanted to quit for plenty of reasons. And this talk with my ass of a coach pretty much made my mind up.

So I reached home, collapsed on the front door and my dad helped me open the gate and he pulled me up and hugged me and I just cried on his shoulder out of pure exhaustion.I really couldn't take it. The whole time since I got home till after buka I was off. I wasn't in the mood for anything. So my sister talked to me and she told me that something definitely happened during training and that it wasn't just because I was tired. So I told her and she passed it on to my dad and he let me quit.

Tuesday.


Zilch.

Wednesday.


Here is where the freakay comes in.

I was on the way getting the transfer form with my best friend Atiqah when a group of sec 4s came out from a classroom. They were in front of us and were walking pretty slow. Also, they were blocking the whole pathway so we couldn't get past them. All was fine till me and Atiqah heard two of the sec 4s say our names. Well, at first I heard my name and then immediately, both of us turned to each other. My name was said loud enough and clear. We both knew they said something like "Have you heard of the sec 2s, (name that starts with A) and Hazirin?" We weren't sure if that name is actually Atiqah but come on. Her and I are always together. 

So trippy. The freaky part was that we both had no relation these seniors at all. So how did she heard about us? What did we do? Really would like to know.

Thursday.


Meeting for my new CCA. In it now. Library Club. Officially out of my miserable CCA that is hockey.

Also, something happened with the bitch of my class and now ex-hockey team mate. (She used to be my bully and she's one of the reasons I quit hockey. Hate that bitch. Now that I don't have to interact with her that much, I'm happy.) It includes my dad too. Lemme just put it out there to future assholes, do not mess with anyone in my family or I will mess you up. I'm not even kidding. If you do, you might as well teleport yourself to Siberia.

Friday.


Got a phone call on the way home from sis. Said she had a surprise. Turns out I got a new phone.


My old phone was just rachet. I couldn't have Whatsapp and it kept having problems. Just yeah. Love this new one.

That's all guys. Check out my social media links below and byeeeeee!



-live, laugh and love
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